Abby Laub: Community Ties

Abby Laub, 13, stared wide-eyed at the clutter of suitcases that surrounded her. “What am I doing here?” she wondered nervously. “Maybe I made the wrong decision.” This disturbing doubt had dogged her all day, but until now, she was determined to push it back into whatever tiny crevice of her mind it called home.

An unfamiliar voice from the next room caught her off guard and sent her stomach into rebellion. It groaned and gurgled as if it were in cahoots with her mind, which was tense and ill-at-ease. “I’m only four hours from home,” she reassured herself softly. “My host family seems very nice, and they’ll help me adapt to my new school.” But anyone who knew Abby realized instantly that homesickness had won the battle that first day in Cleveland, Ohio.

Deciding to leave her parents, friends, and familiar surroundings in Buffalo, New York, and enroll in the Fuchs Mizrachi School in Cleveland was the most difficult decision of Abby’s young life. Educated in a Jewish day school in Buffalo that ended in eighth grade, Abby was determined to continue her Jewish day school education. “I had so many questions about Judaism and the relevance of Jewish law to my life,” she explains. “I figured that the best place to find the answers would be in a strong, tightly knit Jewish community.” When friends from camp recommended Mizrachi–a Zionistic day school where students and teachers share close relationships–Abby jumped at the chance.

However, before Abby could explore the answers to the important questions that troubled her, she would have to learn more commonplace things, such as the etiquette of being a good boarder. “I didn’t really appreciate my parents until I left home,” she says. “With them, I always felt comfortable asking for rides or snacks, but in someone else’s home, I needed to learn to ask for favors without seeming rude.”

As Abby gradually assumed responsibilities around the house, she became more comfortable with her “second family.” She found herself offering to set the table, put away the groceries, and unload the dishwasher. “These are ways of strengthening my relationship with my boarding family, and feeling like I am a contributing member,” she explains. “When you put effort and love into contributing to your surroundings, you will come to care for them.”

The feeling that she belonged allowed her to expand her connections to the school community. Her ties to her teachers and school friends, who live in the community, strengthened first. “My teachers and friends invite me to their houses for Shabbat, for a meal, or to sleep over,” she notes. “The teachers are especially approachable, and the school really feels like a family.”

Each year, Abby’s communal involvement grew, and she grew with it. Now in her senior year, she’s an active, dependable member of Bnei Akiva, a religious Zionist youth movement, which nurtures a strong love of Israel and Torah. She also attended a solidarity mission to Israel, went to a camp for Eastern European Jewish youth in Hungary, and participated in National Conference of Synagogue Youth’s Spain and Israel Adventure.

“I have never felt so strongly about the importance of having and being involved in a vibrant Jewish community,” Abby insists, and it shows: After graduation, she plans to study in Jerusalem, and hopes to become a social worker for immigrants in Israel.

It would be nice, she thinks, to welcome strangers to Israel in the same way she was welcomed to the Jewish community in Cleveland.